If you are unmarried you are commanded by God to marry a believer. The Bible tells us that a believer married to a nonbeliever is like two working together with an unequal yoke. This brings friction into the relationship and makes any load very difficult to carry. It makes every job a hardship. When two animals are yoked together and the yoke is unequal, it is hard on both animals; and if done consistently can even shorten their life span.

     Many people have come to the conclusion that as long as an individual says they believe in Jesus, it is alright to marry them if they are a believer. This is not in line with the Bible. God shows us that we are to find someone of like vision and like intensity in faith, so that we can work together and be a part of what God is doing in the earth. We will then not become frustrated by the other personís lack of vision or insight. 

    If you do not have a husband or wife and you want one, believe God to bring you a mate. He did it for Adam and he did it for Isaac. God is no respecter of persons, and He knows the person that is just right for you. Ask the Lord how you will recognize them when He brings them to you. Many young people have been trapped in relationships because they have gone out with a nonbeliever thinking, I will just go out for dinner or to a show with this person, but I will not let it get serious. Remember, feelings by themselves have no moral character. 

    An individual that can capture your imagination can also influence your will. People that are consistently with you affect your choices. Their thoughts and their feelings influence you. The Bible tells us that evil communications can even corrupt good manners. 

    The Book of Proverbs tells that he who obtains a wife obtains a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord. We all know that you canít have a wife without a husband. So both husband and wife are good in the Lordís eyes. Since God has said that a husband and wife are good and bring favor, then it is His will to provide you with a perfect husband or the perfect wife.

     Many times people blame God for the husband or the wife that they have and say things like, ďLord, why did you give me this husband?Ē Often the Lordís answer to this is, ďthis is not the husband that I gave you, this is the husband that you chose or the wife you chose.Ē As in all areas of life, God will deal the best He can with the choices that you have made. Marriage is a choice. Your husband is a choice. Your wife is a choice. When you choose to find your husband or wife with Godís help, God will see that you receive the very best. God is good and deals with where we are. Here is His solution if you have married a person that is a nonbeliever.

 I Peter 3:1-12 

Godís answer: When a wife or husband is living what they believe, the impact is much stronger than only words. Conversation here means a way of life. When we walk in love, this casts out fear and torment and brings strong confidence. 

I Corinthians 13:8 tells us that love never fails.

Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that no law can stand against a believer filled with love and walking in the Spirit of God. 

I Peter 3:2 uses the word fear. This should be translated reverence or respect.

I Timothy 1 :7 God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and a strong mind.

I Peter 3:3-4 The Bible is not telling us here we cannot wear clothes, fix our hair or wear jewelry, but that the emphasis is to be on the inside, because the outer beauty can fade away and be forgotten, but inner beauty produces life. Meekness is defined as power under control. For example, we choose to be kind, self controlled, considerate and submissive.

 I Peter 3:5-6 You will find as you read the Old Testament, that the women mentioned are strong, confident women. They were well dressed and educated women who had chosen to be one flesh with their husbands. They are women who fulfilled Godís vision in their own lives. Women in the Old Testament times often called their husbands Lord as a form of endearment and respect.

     You will see as you read the story of Abraham and Sarah, that Sarah was not a doormat, but an instrument divinely used of God with her husband to bring Godís promises to pass in the earth. When there was a conflict between Abraham and Sarah, God himself stuck up for Sarah and spoke to Abraham.

     Sarah was a beautiful woman and could have been a kingís wife twice, but instead she chose to follow God with Abraham even when times were tough. 

Hebrews 11:11 The Bible does not hide her weakness but calls her a woman of faith, because she chose to put her life in Godís hands; and we are to follow her example.

 I Peter 3:7-9 Husbands are to dwell with their wives according to their knowledge of God. 

    This scripture has been misinterpreted by some to say I have to treat my mate like a child, because they are pretty dumb and I canít talk to them. When you married your partner you became one, remember! When you see your loved one as dumb what does that make you? Husbands, as well as wives, are to give honor and receive honor. Husbands are to give honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel. Weaker is an unfortunate and inaccurate translation of Godís thought here. A better word would be delicate, as for example a fine and priceless vase which we would protect and treat gently and be careful not to apply excess pressure ourselves, nor allow others to do so. 

    When you walk as heirs together there is excitement and love, and God answers your prayer. When we walk without honor, respect or care for one another, the Spirit of God is grieved and our prayers are often hindered. If you should be mistreated by carelessness, donít strike back in anger. When we strike out at one another we also harm ourselves, because God has made us one. This scripture takes a lot of thought, but do things Godís way. It IS worth the effort!  

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